Sex in the Christian Marriage

My brother has been married for a couple of years now and so have I. We have a mother who has a good relationship with both our wives and has taken to sending us snippets about marriage, life, and business. One day Mummy sent this interesting video I think you all should know about. The video is part of a sermon from a female pastor I now fondly call “Pastor Mrs”.

Pastor Mrs talks about sex in some very cardinal (and carnal aspects) that I think most young men should know. I say young men because some of us have acquired our sexual education from boyhood chatter, movies, trial and error, and maybe even pornography. This isn’t the recipe for healthy, co-dependent relationships between adults in marriage. I love what Pastor Mrs says because she is almost the age of our grandmothers and speaks about sex and sexuality from the pulpit in terms that are educating and non-threatening to men. Since Pastor Mrs is like a mother and grandmother to us, there’s no way what she’s saying can be construed as feminist agenda or lacking in Godly wisdom.

For those of you who won’t watch the video, here’s a summary of a few things I learned from Pastor Mrs.

  1. God is interested in our sexual pleasure. He knows we’re “doing it” and it’s part of the package for marriage. There is no need to have sex hurriedly or ashamedly. We should take our time.
  2. Most of our wives don’t orgasm because we don’t know how to “do it” well. There’s a process to mastering the female body.
  3. A woman isn’t a lamp to switch on and off. Sex “on demand” isn’t fun for a woman. There should be a process of coaxing and “toasting” your wife into sex.
  4. Romance is essential for sex.
  5. Sex is “fellowship”. There should be time for “opening prayer” which is all the toasting, kissing and caressing, and declarations like “I love you pass my mother”.
  6. There should be time for “praise and worship”. There should also be “testimonies” and time to remember all the good things that your wife has done for you and for the adventure you have had in life together so far.
  7. Talk to each other and look at each other before and during sex. This is “fellowship”.
  8. If you “do it” the right way, you won’t have to apply for visa before sex.
  9. When you can “do it” well, things will flow naturally.
  10. With all the preambles, foreplay, and “play play”, your wife’s body will be ready to welcome you as a “man of God” to “minister the word”.

For those of you who are now curious, I would invite you to hear from the mouth of my Pastor Mrs directly. If you know who she is, please tell her that God is using this video of hers to bless young men like me. It is a beautiful and non-threatening way for young wives to talk to their husbands about sex and aspects that can be done better “in the other room”.


So ladies and gentlemen (especially gentlemen) please let us listen to our mummy in the Lord! You can do so by clicking on this link.