Planning

Do you have to lose weight for your wedding?

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I was surfing the internet the other day when an interesting article came up. The central question to it was, is losing weight necessary for you to be happy on your wedding day? I noticed that the post was written “about” women and “to” women in particular. Because of this I feel I lack the moral authority to comment on these issues.

For one I’m a man! Having been married for 5 years now, I’ve come to accept that there are some things that a man can’t fully appreciate because we haven’t lived the female experience.

Apart from that, I’m a wedding photographer so I’d probably be regarded as an accomplice to the industry that has caused so much worry to “regular” and “plus sized” women who endure a lot of body anxiety on their wedding day.

So with these sins of mine in view, I’d like to beg the forgiveness of women to allow me lend a word or two to the matter.

The original article I’m referring to is titled “Losing Weight Isn’t a Prerequisite for Wedding Day Happiness“. The article says you do not have to lose weight for your wedding, and that you should learn to love the body you have.

“23 pounds… (about 10.5kg) That was the average amount that brides-to-be wanted to lose in a study conducted by Cornell University in 2008. In a study of 272 women, 70% wanted to lose weight, some by any means necessary. Out of all the pre-wedding dieters, 40% used at least one extreme weight control behaviour such as weight loss pills, skipping meals and fasting. Of women surveyed who had already bought their bridal gowns, 14% purposely bought a wedding dress one or more sizes smaller than their then-current dress size.”

The author asked some hard questions about where the “Every Bride Must Lose Weight for the Wedding” commandment comes from.

Her answer? This idea comes from a Money obsessed industry, and popular ideas about being a woman in society.

“We live in a world that’s obsessed with weight loss whether there’s a wedding to plan or not. Everywhere we turn we’re being fed the message that thinner is better and that changing our bodies is the ultimate key to happiness… One thing that the diet industry does sickeningly well is prey on women at times when they are the most susceptible to feeling insecure. There are two moments especially that this is clear as can be: Pre-wedding and post-baby. Both milestones that we’re taught to see as quintessential moments of womanhood… You do not have to lose weight before or after any event in your life. You do not have to lose weight to be beautiful, to be happy, or to be worthy of living the life you want”

That’s what the writer of the article said. 

I agree wholeheartedly. Our sense of self worth shouldn’t be based on images put out by the media, or other stereotypes of what ideal beauty should be. “Body positivity” as self love is a gospel we all need to hear.

Since we’re all in agreement on these matters, I guess we can now move on to where I lend my own experience on the matter of “weight” as a man.

The body changes with time after the wedding. This is the same with both men and women on average. Some people remain the same weight until their final days with little effort. The rest of us gain weight steadily over time.

In the spirit of being body positive, so long as we’re feeling good about ourselves and looking good, then all is well.

Unfortunately this ignores some simple practical issues in marriage.

How heavy we are can impact some basic things that we get up to after the wedding… sex, playing with the kids, child care, daily health, and life expectancy.

Some of these things are easier to engage in when we’re healthier (and for some people) lighter. I lost sight of this early in my marriage until the children came along.

Playtime with the children has greatly improved now that my cardio vascular conditioning has gotten better. I can run, dance, throw, push and kick about all over the place with my child now. Bath time isn’t that much of a chore with a stronger back from doing calisthenics.

As for sex? Let’s just say it isn’t easy carrying someone else when you can barely carry yourself… And my doctor says that cardio vascular fitness and weight issues also affect a man’s ability to maintain an erection (in some cases).

No one knows when we’re going to die, but it makes sense to stack the odds in our favour by checking up and meeting all the vitals. These are rough approximations I’ve spoken about here, not iron clad rules.

Heavier set people can also enjoy beautiful sex lives, wonderful play time with the kids, be on top of household chores and also live well into ripe old age.

My thesis is, no man or woman should fell compelled to loose weight before and even after the wedding. We should all love ourselves and be comfortable in our skin.

Self love and positivity are perquisite for success in many areas of life.  However, going beyond the wedding day and looking into the MARRIAGE, some of us could benefit from being lighter and healthier in more sustainable ways over the long term.

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About Tavershima G. Ayede

Tavershima G. Ayede is a photographer and a guest writer. He describes himself on his Instagram profile as a wedding photojournalist and gun for hire who is addicted to Fanta, but settles for Sprite occasionally.

Planning

5 Tips To Help You Dish Out Your Best Friend’s Wedding Toast Like A Pro

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Aside from being a groomsman or a chief bridesmaid, one of the typical roles of a best friend at a wedding is to give a toast. The significance of a wedding toast is to wish the couple the best of health and good luck for many years to come.

Although these days, it has been tweaked to talking about how the couples met, what they like and dislike et al while still wishing them a beautiful married life of course.

1. Introduction

This is a no-brainer because whatever speech you are giving you have to introduce yourself. Make it brief so as not to bore any of the guests. Also, include where and how you met the couple.

2. Cue Cards

These are preferred to a long sheet of paper especially if you are certain you may forget a line or two. To avoid/reduce babbling, use cue cards.

3.  Take  Your Time

As much as you shouldn’t spend the entire day giving a toast, it is advisable that you take your time. Try not to rush. It might not only affect your speech but your composure as well.

4. Practise Makes Perfect

We know, it’s not a term paper but you would not want to mess it up right? Practise as frequently as you can before the D-day.

5. Avoid Prejudice

Ensure you shower praises on both parties and not just your best friend or your best friend’s spouse.

6. No Dirty Linen Allowed

Kindly avoid mentioning your friend’s exes and escapades. That’s the last anybody wants to hear on their big day. Don’t be a party pooper.

You don’t need to develop cold feet if asked to give a toast at a  friend’s wedding. Follow these tips and you will be just fine!

Photo Credit: Champagne Shotz

Planning

7 Ways You Can Pop At Any Wedding In An Ankara Prints Skirt

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Ankara fabrics are obviously for the cool kids. They are not only trendy but multifaceted. Moreover, they make you feel closer to your roots just rocking any piece.

African Wax Prints also known as Ankara and Dutch wax prints are omnipresent and common materials for clothing in Africa, especially West Africa. They are industrially produced, colourful cotton cloths with batik-inspired printing.

One feature of these materials is the lack of difference in the colour intensity of the front and back side. The wax fabric can be sorted into categories of quality due to the processes of manufacturing.

Here are 7 Ankara skirts that will make you steal the show at any wedding;

1. Maxi Skirt

A maxi skirt is a skirt that drapes to ankle length. Maxi skirts can be flowy or curve-hugging. It’s easy to wear. Maxi skirts are classic.

2. Midi Skirt

This is a skirt with hem halfway between ankle and knee, below the widest part of the calf. Introduced by designers in 1967 as a reaction to very short mini skirts.

3. Asymmetrical Skirt

Asymmetrical skirts are the entire package. They make you look totally sexy and yet classy. There’s also the vintage feel to it. You’d look just right with a proper top.

4. Pleated Skirt

A pleated skirt is one with a type of fold formed by doubling fabric back upon itself and securing it in place.

5. Butterfly Skirt

A butterfly skirt has flaps on both sides. Hence, the name. The flaps could also be fringes. It has the sexy stint to it. It can be worn to any event.

6. Peplum Skirt

Peplum, is a type of elongated hem resembling a short skirt, worn to lie over another garment, either another skirt such as a petticoat or underskirt, or breeches. It is also known as an overskirt.

7. Maxi Skirt With High Slit

Maxi skirts with a high slit scream sexy and we love it! It gives you the sassy and conservative look in one beautiful mix. You can stunt in this at a wedding or any event.

Run out of ideas on what to wear to the next wedding ceremony? Oh well, try out any of these Ankara skirt styles on a nice looking top preferably chiffon. Thank us later!

Photo Credit: Followmego, Dashikidresses, Yangamarket

Planning

A Guide To Dealing With Toddlers On Your Wedding Train

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Having toddlers on your bridal train can be tasking. Albeit, it can be avoided. Most bridal trains are never truly complete without a little bride, little groom, ring bearer or flower girls.

Here’s a short guide on how to deal with little children on your wedding train.

1. Everybody Loves A Buddy

Yeah, everybody loves to have someone that they are comfortable with around and this mostly applies to children. 

If you can, the kids on your bridal train should be quite familiar with each other, you or even the other adults around. This helps calm them down. It gives them a sense of ‘security’.

2. An Idle Mind…

Keeping the kids busy saves you the stress of having to control them every time.

Hence, a game or a book with lots of photos will help them sit quietly if they have to, especially during the exchange of vows.

3. No Sweets Allowed!

Although scientists say, it is a myth that sweets make children hyper. We still advise that for those few hours, they should be kept off sweets. Better safe than sorry, right?

4. Beginner’s Luck?

Beginner’s luck doesn’t always fly so if the child (children) you intend to have on your bridal train have never been on any prior to yours. A little pep talk or practice before the D-day might be quite useful.

5. Chaperones Never Hurt 

Having a train guide will help you keep the children in check and nobody has to run helter-skelter trying to keep them in one place.

Children are amazing as they are a handful, proper guidance is needed when dealing with them. Although, it is advised not to overdo it, if you ask us, the most beautiful bridal trains are those with children.

Photo Credit: Debola style, Mobgidi

Planning

These 5 Tips Will Help You Look Picture Perfect On Your Big Day

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Everyone wants to look back at their wedding picture with a certain mix of nostalgia and excitement.

Typically, your wedding day should be one of your best picture days. You don’t want a grumpy look, a pout gone wrong, or a your face looking quite the opposite when you stare at your wedding photos.

Here are a few tips to help you look just good enough or even more on your wedding day.

1. Light Make-Up

For brides, do it well to keep it simple.

You don’t want to turn out looking queer because you had more than the right amount of colour needed on your face. You certainly do not want to look like a totally different person on that day.

2. Fall In Love With Your Photographer

First off, do not pick a photographer you dislike or one who irritates you for whatever reason. Your photographer should be one you are pretty comfortable with. Posing for photos will be seamless.

3. Your Attire Must Be Pretty Comfortable

Whatever you and your spouse choose to rock on your wedding day. It must be comfortable. You don’t want a dress that makes you fidget in such a way that your discomfort is obvious in photos.

4. Leave Your Worries At Home

Yeah, yeah the adult life is full of worries we all know that but on your big day you should be as cheerful as you can. No iota of gloom is allowed really.

Think of your best days and all the amazing things you could think of your spouse.

5. Keep Your Guest List As Thin As Possible

Flamboyant weddings are a thing especially in Nigeria but it does not kill to have your guest list short, completely made up of close friends and family friends you love and who love you right back.

Choose happiness everyday, be it on your big day or not. Everyday you are alive is a kodak moment.

Photo Credit: Vision & Style Photography

Planning

6 Ways To Effortlessly Overcome Stage Fright On Your Big Day

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Stage fright is commonly defined as nervousness before or during an appearance in front of an audience.

This can happen to the best of us. Even the most bubbly person in the room has a high chance of getting nervous when asked to be on stage. Some people get cold feet before their wedding because they can’t imagine standing before an audience even on their big day.

If you are the shy type or for some reason have phobia for a large crowd, here are a few tips that can help you overcome stage fright on your wedding day.

1. Do Away With Flamboyant Entry

You don’t have to do all the drama that comes with entering the venue. You can cut out the music and replace it with a simple announcement about your arrival and be clapped for. It will feel even better if you are ushered in with your bridal train, family or friends.

2. Slash Your Guest List

The entire universe doesn’t have to celebrate this special day with you. Strictly invite your family, friends and people whom you are super close with.

3. Cut The Chase With Your Vows

Make your vows simple and straight to the point especially if you are writing yourself. No need to go all the way. Short yet precise will work for you.

4. Don’t Restrict Yourself

Having a special seat for just you and your spouse will definitely make you the center of attention. Seat at a table with friends and family. This will make it a lot more comfortable for you.

5. Simple First Dance

Your first dance does not mean you must have killer moves. Trying out anything major will only add to your stress. Do something simple with your spouse.

6. Unanimous Appreciation

Ensure that you and your spouse thank your guests together. Doing it while holding hands would be even better.

Your spouse is the most important person to you both on your big day and forever. Let your spouse know before hand that you have cold feet as regards crowd on your big day so together you can plan how to make the day as seamless as possible.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Planning

These Wedding Suit Rules Will Bring Out The ‘Prince Charming’ In Your Groom

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A suit is a set of garments made from the same cloth, usually consisting of at least a jacket and trousers. Lounge suits, which originated in Britain as country wear, are the most common style of Western suit, according to Wikipedia.

A wedding suit is tailor made for men on their big day. Like the wedding dresses, it comes in different styles and colours too.

Here are a few rules you can follow if you want to look like the perfect prince charming on your wedding.

1. Fitting

No matter how expensive a suit is, it won’t look good if it’s hanging off your shoulders. Ensure you get a good fit. Short sleeves and high leg trousers are not allowed.

2. Let Your Suit Speak Passion And Life

Confidence is a thing but refrain from looking boring as much as you can. Make a statemen with your suit. Glen plaid pattern is not a bad idea.

3. The Waistcoat Is Your Friend

The waistcoat is spot on for the stylish groom. Cut close to the body and hemmed to the belt line – just perfect!

4. Sit With Care

It is important to unfasten your jackets when you sit.

5. Double Breasted Jacket

Do not fasten the bottom button of a double-breasted jacket except it has only a single row of buttons.

6. Be Careful With Accessories

Floral buttonhole, pocket square handkerchief and cufflinks is just it. Leave your big, bulky watch and rings at home.

7. Fabric is King

The fabric you choose should be dictated by the time of year and expected temperatures.

8. Don’t Miss Out On The Fit Test

Your jacket should be able to fit a fist between the cloth and your chest. Of course, you want to breathe easy on your big day.

9. Lining Depicts Quality

A good suit jacket will feature a fully-lined interior, and this is an easy way to add a flash of colour or reveal a little of your personality. Statement stripes, vibrant hues and on-trend patterns are also in line.

10. Detail is Key

A flower loop, hand stitched sleeve lining, hand finished interior pocket, vented pleat and a hidden pocket – the perfect storing place for those wedding bands.

These details are equally important on your suit. If you obey most of these ‘Wedding Suit Rules’ you are sure to look eccentric on your wedding.

Photo Credit: Bridalmusings, rosaurasandoval, dhgate

Planning

5 Nail Polish Shades That Will Make Your Hands Glow On The Big Day

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Nail polish originated in China and dates back to 3000 BC. Around 600 BC, during the Zhou dynasty, the royal house preferred the colors gold and silver.

However, red and black eventually replaced these metallic colors as royal favorites. During the Ming dynasty, nail polish was often made from a mixture that included beeswax, egg whites, gelatin, vegetable dyes, and gum arabic.

These 5 shades will make your fingers glow.

1. Pink

Pink as always represents femininity. It is normally seen as the ‘soft’ color ascribed to women in particular.

2. Grey

Grey nail polish typically represents an unconventional person yet modest and cultured.

3. Nude

Nude is simple yet downright classy.

4. Red

It is the colour of fire and blood. This is a very emotionally intense colour.

5. White

White signifies purity, safety and cleanliness. It’s just   right for a wedding.

Sometimes, the colours you wear on your big day speak a lot about your mood. Be circumspect with your choice(s).

Photo Credit: InsideWedding, Madivas, Readersdigest

Planning

10 Self Made Wedding Vows That Will Make Your Eyes Water

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According to Wikipedia, Marriage/wedding vows are promises each partner in a couple makes to the other during a wedding ceremony based upon Western Christian norms. They are not universal to marriage and not necessary in most legal jurisdictions.

Over time some couples who we perceive as unconventional have taken it upon themselves to create their own wedding vows which they recite to themselves on their big day.

We think this is beautiful because it’s more like reassuring your partner in a way only both of you can relate and understand.

Here are a few heartwarming wedding vows that may inspire you to pen down one for your significant other.

1. 

“I promise to love and care for you, and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love.
I will always be honest with you, kind, patient and forgiving.
I promise to try to be on time.
But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you.
I love you.”

2. 

“You are my lover and my teacher,
You are my model and my accomplice,
And you are my true counterpart.
I will love you, hold you and honor you,
I will respect you, encourage you and cherish you,
In health and sickness,
Through sorrow and success,
For all the days of my life.”

 

3. 

“I promise to be your lover, companion and friend,
Your partner in parenthood,
Your ally in conflict,
Your greatest fan and your toughest adversary.
Your comrade in adventure,
Your student and your teacher,
Your consolation in disappointment,
Your accomplice in mischief.
This is my sacred vow to you, my equal in all things. All things.”

4. 

“I take you to be my partner for life,
I promise above all else to live in truth with you
And to communicate fully and fearlessly,
I give you my hand and my heart
As a sanctuary of warmth and peace
And pledge my love, devotion, faith and honor
As I join my life to yours.”

5. 

“On this day,
I give you my heart,
My promise,
That I will walk with you,
Hand in hand,
Wherever our journey leads us,
Living, learning, loving,
Together,
Forever.”

6. 

“I believe in you, the person you will grow to be and the couple we will be together.

With my whole heart, I take you as my wife/husband, acknowledging and accepting your faults and strengths, as you do mine.

I promise to be faithful and supportive and to always make our family’s love and happiness my priority. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. I will dream with you, celebrate with you and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring. You are my person—my love and my life, today and always.”

7. 

“I promise to encourage your compassion,
Because that is what makes you unique and wonderful.
I promise to nurture your dreams,
Because through them your soul shines.
I promise to help shoulder our challenges,
For there is nothing we cannot face if we stand together.
I promise to be your partner in all things,
Not possessing you, but working with you as a part of the whole.
Lastly, I promise to you perfect love and perfect trust,
For one lifetime with you could never be enough.
This is my sacred vow to you, my equal in all things.”

8.

”I am proud to take you as my husband/wife.
For all the time we have been together, there has always been the kind of mutual understanding which is only shared when there is true love.
You have helped me triumph over challenges presented,
Encouraged my personal growth and boosted my self-esteem.
You have helped me become the person I am today,
And with your help, I will be a better person tomorrow than I was yesterday.

I vow to trust and value your opinions, and stand by your actions.
I pledge to always treat you as my best friend and equal.
I will ask for help when I need it, and offer help to you always.
Let us be friends and lovers, and grow old disgracefully together”

9.

”I promise today to be your navigator, best friend, and wife; honor, love, and cherish you through all of life’s adventures. I swear to always and forever be your confidant and you mine. I vow to grow old with you and to keep the kid in you alive. I take you today to be my co-captain of team”

10.

”It’s very clear, our love is here to stay – not for a year, but ever and a day, The radio and the telephone and the movies that we know may just be passing fancies and in time may go… but oh my dear, our love is here to stay – together we’re going a long long way. In time the Rockies may crumble and Gibraltar may tumble – they’re only made of clay but, I vow, our love is here to stay”

Want to tell your lover just how you feel on your wedding day in your own words? The above vows will certainly motivate you.

Source/Photo Credit: Brides, offbeatbride, theknot, thespruce.

Planning

10 Ideal Questions To Ask Before Hiring A Make-Up Artist For Your Big Day

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Poorly done make-up is capable of ruining a perfectly good day. You don’t want anything raining on your parade on your big day. Neither do you want your groom to wonder about your weird transformation.

What are we trying to say? A good make-up artist who knows his/her onion is major.

Fixing a date for Q&A with your makeup artist before fully committing is equally important.

According to Weddingwire, here are a  few questions to ask before diving in.

1. Are you available on my wedding day?
This is the first question you’ll want to ask. Why? If the artist of your dreams isn’t available on your date it’s good to know sooner rather than later. Make sure to ask when they’re available for trials, as well!

2. What’s your standard rate and what does that include?
You’re going to have to fit your wedding makeup artist into your budget, so cut to the chase and ask about cost at the beginning of your conversation. Specifically, you’ll want the balance for pre-wedding trials, your wedding day services and any additional costs.

3. Can you travel for my wedding day?
This is a key question if you’ve planned something out of town. Wedding makeup artists aren’t always available to hop on a plane or train as they may have other obligations or clients to tend to. Ask your artist whether they are able to follow you to your destination right out of the gate. If not, it’s on to the next one. If you want to skip the hassle and cost of travel, look for an artist who already resides in or around your wedding destination.

4. Can I book a trial appointment?
No matter how much you trust them, you don’t want your first appointment with your makeup artist to be your wedding day. Request a trial run or two so that you can try out different styles and products to see what works before committing completely.

5. Do you have a portfolio?
Flipping through your makeup artist’s portfolio will give you an idea of their personal style and ability. If your artists looks like he or she cakes on the makeup and you want a more natural look for your big day, now may be the time to start looking at other options. Testimonials and references will also help you determine whether you’ve found “the one”.

6. What products do you use?
Anyone with problematic skin knows that the wrong product can wreak havoc on your face. You’ll want to get the lowdown on what products and brands your artist plans on working with so that your skin doesn’t freak out on your big day. Side note: If you care about things like parabens, cruelty-free brands or all-natural cosmetics, now’s the time to ask about those, too.

7. How can you make my look last and look good in photos?
You’re wedding day will be a long one, filled with emotions and probably a healthy dose of tears. Make sure your artist is up to the task of keeping you looking pretty no matter what the circumstances. Ask what they can do to minimize shine, lock on your foundation and keep those mascara tears at bay.

8. Are you able to do my bridal party’s makeup as well?
If you want your bridesmaids to have a cohesive look, having the same wedding makeup artist is key. Though one or two of them can probably do a killer job of applying winged liner, you don’t want to leave the others floundering around (that’s just asking for some makeup mishaps). Having your makeup artist handle your entire party means that you won’t have to put your faith in more than one person. After all, if he or she does a great job, why keep hunting?

9. What look would you suggest for me?
Having trouble picking out a look for yourself? Getting a few tips from your wedding makeup artist is a good idea.

There’s a good chance that your artist has worked on many brides with different face shapes, features and colouring – meaning they have an idea of what’s flattering and what’s best avoided on your wedding day.

10. Can I see your contract?
Asking to see a copy of your makeup artist’s standard contract should take care of any unanswered questions.

Their contract should lay out all pre-wedding day, wedding day services plus any additional fees that may impact your balance (like travel fees, parking, etc.). Once you’ve seen a draft, you’ll know exactly what you’re in for.

You are on way to looking like royalty on your big day. Let nothing stop you!

Photo Credit: LionessesOfAfrica, Shutterstock, Adomonline