BUILD YOUR MARRIAGE
In the book ‘’Flashes of Thought” the author Muhammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum defined the most gifted leader as one who does not shape only the present, but a good part of the future as well. Marriage is a call to leadership where two individuals, decide to intimately share their future together. This decision is one of the most beautiful and costly in life. On this path, for both to make success they must die to self. Dying to self means letting go of your space, for another to merge with yours to become one in other to achieve a goal.
Two hearts knit together to become one, two coming together to become one flesh irrespective of background and status. Therefore the quality of this union shall be determined by the vision they have. Before ever saying I do, it is expected that individuals should have a sense of direction and purpose in life to avert future conflict
BUILDING PHASES
The early years:
At this phase, the couples are still discovering each other behaviorally. It may take a while to embrace family values, bond with other relatives etc. If there is no room for patience and understanding, it may lead to crisis due to individual difference.
Parenting:
Parenting is a higher call to leadership therefore; you must give it your best by raising quality and excellent oriented children. Children are gifts from God and a reassurance from him that we have our extension on earth.
Parenting is very demanding, it involves lots of self denial but comes with great reward. You must have a good template for building the lives and future of your children. Each parent must play his/her role effectively, concentrating on every aspect of life. You will at the end secure peace for yourself when your children are waxing strong as adults.
Lastly, l really don’t know how to coin this phase of life but I would encourage you to practice Charity. Remember the saying ‘’charity begins at home”. Aside your nuclear family, build other lives and take care of your parents and siblings. When you extend love and show kindness by sharing with others, God will reward you.
I remember growing up with my parents, I watched them build lives even when it wasn’t convenient for them and God never stopped blessing our home. Giving opens you to God’s favor and kindness. Couples must encourage each other in this act so that it will pave way for their children in future as they sow into other people’s lives.
HAVE A VISION
A vision is a clear idea or picture of where you want to be in a few months or years. The starting point of a vision is the ability to see into the future from where you are. The future therefore can be predictable if it is driven by a vision.
Every couple must have the builders’ mindset. Marriage is a building project that must be handled with great skill and expertise or else it will not be habitable. In building, there is first a building plan before the project takes off. The building plan which is derived from your vision should be made clear first during courtship. Building starts after you say I do.
KEYS FOR SUCCESSFUL BUILDING
- Spend quality time to consolidate and strategize dreams and vision during honeymoon.
- The man must make it clear to his wife assuring her, that her willingness to bear his name will not be regrettable
- The man must have a vision and the woman understanding, that successful marriage needs good structuring
- The man is the head and should take the lead. The woman is to support him.
- She must allow her own vision, compliment that of her husband and not override his.
- For successful building let roles and responsibilities be defined.
- Where there are lapses, the one with greater strength should cover up with all humility and wisdom
POWER OF VISION
Your vision will keep you focused. It will keep you going despite the challenges when others are quitting. It will preserve your home and your lives from intruders and destiny destroyers. It will take you to your desired height in life together. Never forget you are starting as friends so keep the fire of love burning and your marriage will glow.
Stay focused!
Photo Credit: Nana Annan Photography